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An awesome example of an English tutor advertisment (London,1713)

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Эксперимент переводчиков

Этот полушуточный, полусерьезный эксперимент был проведен лет 40 тому назад, к нему были привлечены профессиональные переводчики, преподаватели и студенты ряда высших учебных заведений.

Каждый из приглашенных, превосходно зная два смежных языка, должен был принять от своего коллеги текст и, переведя его на родной язык, передать следующему.
За исходный текст был взят отрывок из произведения Н.В. Гоголя «Повесть о том, как поссорились Иван Иванович с Иваном Никифоровичем». Читать далее

English puns :)

funny-puns-31-pics_11. Do you know why the Little Mermaid wears seashells? Because A and B shells were too small.

2. It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty… but he had a great fall.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A gossip is someone with a sense of rumor.
5. I should have been sad when the batteries in my flashlight went dead, but I was delighted.
6. My girlfriend’s an expert in sighcology — she always gets her way by pretending she’s sad.
7. A cheetah and a jaguar were in a race and the cheetah won because he is a cheetah.
8. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
9. Some people take beautiful pictures, then cut them into pieces and that’s a puzzle to me.
10. Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.

55 grammar rules that you won’t find in any book :)

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Winston Churchill, corrected on this error once, responded to the young man who corrected him by saying «Young man, that is the kind of impudence up with which I will not put!

3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific. Читать далее